The Darkest of Heresies
Khorrl's magnificent log for a great legacy
What the heck, I recently discovered that Solomon is keeping a log where he records all the events and happenings of our “project”. Usually, this would be a horrible idea, because hey, if you write it down and confess to the crime, you are basically signing your own death warrant, which is something that Solomon should have realized… the dufus. This log however holds a grander purpose besides simply keeping track of the average efforts of my collages. This log will be the start of my great legacy, which will describe in full detail the epicness of my actions. (Note to self, writing sucks, maybe I should make the junior assistant write this down for me, but then again, I don’t think that he even can read…)
Up to this point, I admiral Khorrl of the Red Steel company have helped… no scratch that, lead the rest of the company in glorious and successful endeavors and was contacted personally by some dufus with a sigil. A very unremarkable and plain person who I directed to pass on his objective to the other via a letter, I should not have to demean myself with such a mundane task, where after inspiring the grunts of the company to head forth to combat mystery and heresy out of pure kindness.
(Note to self, we really need to find out who the contractor is, if we don’t get paid for this I will rob a bank or something)
After some immaculate, but rather tedious investigation in this new district which shall remain anonymous, I gave my companions a few additional days to finally understand the foulness of the “pottery scheme”(Note to self, I am awesome at coming up with names, I should have started recording my legacy ages ago) in order for them to feel more useful, I had obviously unraveled the whole scheme after some discreet inquires with the local nobles, they can’t resist my charm.
When the grunts finally started to get anywhere we had to chase this person who almost had the dexterity and balance to equal me! As soon as we entered his room he used his grapple hook to dive out of the window while at the same time trying to lure us into grenade tripwire. Fearing for the safety of my fierce, but rather slow, underlings I dived forward firing my own grapple hook in order to pursue this highly skilled individual. Side by side we battled in this almost aerial dance while we wrestled back and forth at the end of both of our respective grapple hooks. The aerial dual would have come to a sad end for both of us, if I hadn’t grabbed my trusty mono saber (every admiral should have one) and sliced through his steel wire with one swift stroke. He fell and crashed down to the ground and was too dazed to do anything before I was able to acrobatically land right next to him and pin him to the ground at the end of my sword. Feeling triumphant for the secured safety of my underlings I would only have to wait a short while before they could come and secure the vile beast, who happened to have an excellent pair of cigars which he graciously surrendered to me as a token of his defeat.
At this point Solomon was shambling along, close to death due to his clumsiness which resulted in him being infected. Long and boring story really, suffice to say we are looking for the seeds of a flower of perfect beauty or something like that, the flower is really beautiful though. I should take it and keep it for myself.
After a fierce battle of wits and will we finally got a decisive clue and headed into the theater. After several failed attempts of breaking in stealthily, minions… pheh! We decided to use an alternate route. If it hadn’t been for me, and my trusty climbing equipment this whole operation would surely have been a failure.
Inside the theater, the nobles converged in a fashionable orgy, which I must admit I used to be very accustomed to before I saw the righteous path, and we waited until they all had sated their LUST!!!! hehe, I like that word… lust.
Feeling that the hour of doom or magnificent success was upon I courageously lead the party down into the basement where we were beset upon fierce and alluring creatures. Recognizing me as the fiercest threat four of them attacked me and tried to surround me. Stubber and Lelouch, tried in their own fashion to aid me in combat, but sensing their awkwardness and the vileness radiating from the hot demon chicks I had to take fierce blows intended to fall upon my comrades in order to save their life. Falling back, fighting with one arm, throwing knife after knife with pinpoint accuracy scoring several kills among the scores of demons that were trying to charge us. My fierce barrage of knives halted the charge long enough for Solomon and Loothas to gather their wits and fire with some accuracy into the horde of demons falling upon us.(Note to self: I have to restock on poisons, knives hardly do any real damage without being poisoned, and what kind of idiot would I be if I fought fairly?)
While I was halting the charge singlehandedly I had to use my foot to still the blood pumping out of Lelouch while injecting her with some stimm with my other foot. All this time I was tenaciously stemming the floodgate of my own blood and intestines that threatened to escape my clutching hand. Finally, after a vicious underhand throw that faltered two hot demon chicks Loothas had the time to use his psychic powers to heal so I could one more fully join the fray.
What followed was a dashing and daring display (Note to self: DDD, by the emperor I have a silver tongue)of lethal acrobatics where I utilized my saber to its full effect in order to end the fight before anyone else was hurt. At the end of the fight while I finished the last two in a flurry of blows, it seemed like Solomon was playing whack a dufus with a demon who was standing on a table licking his wounds after an earlier encounter with me, where solomon, finally, after several failed attempts managed to get the killing blow.
It is now all quiet, my men are wounded and we still have a very beautiful bitch to kill.