The emperor protects those in need.
That I’ve believed my entire life.
What kind of twisted fate would have dreamed up the answer that my prayers wrought?
Did Zarldar Luthas or Jethro Tull ever do anything to make the emperor turn his blind eye to them?
Or maybe, he turned a blind eye because of me?
Haven’t I satisfied the path he have made me walk?
Is that the truth of it?
If so, what kind of changes do I have to make for him to be satisfied with what I do again?
I’ve shied away from what I percieve to be power for a long time, because I know what power might bring out in people. Though that corruption I would be protected from because I know of it and oppose it whenever I can.
I know only the destruction of not being the one who calls the shots might bring and I know what I have to do to perhaps reallign my feet with the path I was supposed to tread.
But I’m scared that if I fail seeing the emperors path for me ahead, I might kill my brothers in arms.
But for the emperor I have to bear through the pain and force my feelings myself to become more in charge of myself than I was before.
I hope Solomon comes back soon, I remember that his decisions usually were swift and smart. I were never a very swift decisionmaker but I have to be swift or delegate tasks to others that I think might know their ways through whatever situation our feet take us too.
We live in peace and in the emperors grace even though he has taken a couple of our beloved comrades, and one ran away from his troubles.
I had actually hoped to help Red on his way to righteousness.
We have resupplied ourselves with new members, I will take better care of them and be more decisive about what to do from now.
Even though our health insurance and the clever boredome of our dearest parthas actually made the faction that our two assassins wanted to create possible the target of that expansion shouldn’t be the same.
If anything is left of an opinion on that man, Red, it is still that he was clever in most of his doings. He didn’t have a clue about anything else than his mad conquest of a rise to power but he did achieve one thing, he put effort in to point us in the right direction. Even though the last missions we’ve endured much he wanted more power. I think that is the best way to achieve what I want with my life.
Red Steel have to become more powerfull because I want to protect everyone and I want to help people who needs it.
I have to try to keep our focus in the right direction, I have to keep our assets together and I have to make Macrian and Solomon understand why I need us to rise from the merrygo mercenary-gang to a chapter to be reckoned with.
The emperor have spoken to me in my dreams tonight, he said to me, as if he were whispering it into his lovers ear: “Be vigilant, stay steadfast, love your brothers and sisters and trust your friends”
I will live by those words, my love for him, the allfather, will never waver.
I have to become a true adepta sororitas, that is my goal though I might want to do so when I’ve got my feet better planted in the shoes that Parthas made for me.
They were perfect fits as well, that man knows a little too well my body’s size because every garment in my closed seems to fit like a glove. Might be the materials or some kind of tech that he haven’t revealed that he were the master of…
He needs to be rewarded, even though he needs no reward but see the chapterhouse he built in good use, I will make that my goal as well.
His boredome have opened a lot of paths that leads to security and good things to come. I do think I know the path my emperor created for me.
I just have to clarify this though, I didn’t ever and won’t ever underappreciate the factors that built the bridges and the roads I have to walk. Those were buildt by my comrades and at this moment in time we have resources and we have room to grow, exponentionally. And that is paramount for what I hope to one day create.
Through the last mission I think I know that finding my station isn’t allways the right thing to do. In my place as a possible candidate as the leader of Red Steel I think that I have to mature from the girl who forever follows, and forever helps.
To a woman worth following and worthy of the following, if I ever am to lead anything I have to become that.
Change is hard, even for the most devout and most flexible person.
“As we move around, we are chesspieces of his large ploy to secure humanitys rise…”
The emperor’s daughter,